Lets Fast Forward to Present Day -04/14/2011

So the time is now 10:00 pm on the dot and I received a text from this fairly new guy asking when I was coming over...(yes I already slept with him) sad story I know. But the even sadder story was the sex was horrible. I responded by saying, "you meant to ask when could you hit" With him laughing and saying, naw your cool peoples. I already knew the deal and I felt insulted that he would even try to sugarcoat it and not keep it 100. Saying to myself, would he just admit that he wants me to come over really quick, hit it and have me bounce; if he had said that I mean yes I would have been mad but I would have respected him a lot more. Of course I would have cussed him out but at least I would have known he had some balls. Keeping in mind that the sex was HORRIBLE with a capital H...Being one of the few Italians I have slept with I thought he might be in the same size range as the other "Italian Stallions"  BOY!! was I wrong it was a big  small disappointment, and a quick one if I may add that in as well. Anyways I had to let him know I cannot continue to do this, it's one thing If you were genuinely trying to get to know me and we happened to have a late night rendezvous here and there but you are blantantly hitting me up for SEX as if your pipe game is even something to run home about. GIVE ME A BREAK! like no offer to get a bite to eat or drinks? and the fact that he is older.... wayyyyy older you would think he had some manners. NOPE! or maybe he was thinking he got a young one who was black at that he could play her. SHAKING MY HEAD like I was having a seizure, with B's infamous line, "you must not know about me" ringing in my head. I thought to myself to be so young I been doing this too long baby boy. After letting him know he will not be getting any COUTER from me on a regular basis, just for shits and giggles he disappointingly responded, "iight then". Guess you can say that is the last I will hear from him. And it sucks though because he had so much potential, beautiful house, cars , money clothes, just not a brain... the most important factor of all. SAD STORY!

Skater Boy

So I guess the fact that my first kiss was done on a dare was not that unusual but the fact that I was so repulsed during it all well that might come as a bit shocking. His name shall remain nameless, considering the fact I don't want to embarass myself. It was 6th grade, and we were all gathered around playing a game of truth or dare, I was sweating bricks A, because my sister would be picking me up any moment and B, because I really did not want to be picked. So of course someone dares me to kiss this underated, unknown peer of mine reluctant at first because he was that much of a loser I was known to never back down so I did it! With both A and B coming to bite me in the ass my sister saw, and I hated every minute of it. Thinking to myself on the ride home as I listened to her threaten to tell mom, I realized kissing did not live up to the hype, and the fact that I was trying "fit in" with the weirdos (who at the time were the only ones being remotely sexually active) did not make it worth it either. So after the rumors flew of how Ashley kissed the weirdo, and the permanent flashbacks remained in my brain for years, even up to this day. I vowed to never kiss again. Another reason I know my ability to formulate a promising relationship is damaged. Usually kissing plays a big part in two people who are attracted to eachother. It's sensual and meaningful, (so I have heard.) I would not know because I avoid it at all cost.... why you ask maybe I feel I will be in a vulnerable state WHO KNOWS!!! Its pretty sad that I can have sex with someone and turn my face away the whole time and not think anything of it, and the saddest thing is I have been doing it since I lost my virginity. When asked why I am like that I respond by saying I am not the "affectionate type" and I know to kiss that guy goodbye "theoretically speaking" of course!! It seems that anyone who has really liked me has not felt it in return and bounces... maybe thats why I came up with the "hit it and quit it theory" or as these new era kids call it "toot it and boot it".... Either way I have found that I have been damaged goods since day one, and its time to be restored.

From here on out I will consider myself an one of a kind oil painting that has a smudge!!
but with careful hands and a little work can be fixed... or so we shall see.